I, Myself

I dont know what happened to me, my mind is not staying still, it wants me fly high, making me wonder and i feel strange about myself.
A strange feeling is always there in me telling me do the thing eventhough I said no and try to stop it from..
I want the people feel jealous about me and U.. I dont know when Im gonna feel great about myself.. may be there is a time ahead..there is a time when i overcome this fear and tell U wat i really want to say.. and when I dream of nothing crazy but jst the moments that we create together..
Sometimes I feel strong myself.. sometimes I fear.. Ifeel like running, running away from all the stupid things around me and the stupid things I do.. i want to scare them to death and overcome
But im afraid.. donno why.. may be its a thing I'll have in me forever.. but when I try I always end up in vain. when am I winning? winning against myself?
Why am I scared?? Why?
Then I realized there is nothing in life that one should be worried of.. because everything is just a crap.. dont step on it just get away from it.. simple.. and I feel that Im in a world of mad people...
So whatever in your mind it cant be told or written And it cant simply be stopped from. And whatever it is it always come back eventhough you may try throwing it away.. U cant easily avoid the thought of forgetting someone jst like that..
Mind- its always like waves it highs and lows never the same- fickle... always makes u do the things it thinks.. like the river never stops water from flowing..

Will I be able to act to as I wish? Will I be able to find U that makes me do the things that I love..

whatever..
Its always I, myself